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Thursday, January 12, 2017

time here

Here is time. Here is an empty space. Here's feelings. Here's the guided path of those who came before you. I've found myself contemplating the meaning of life, existence, our purpose for being on the planet-in the world part of the universe-- to live is to survive every second, every moment of time we have being physically bound in these bodies in this world on this ground To live a life helping others, serving others, loving other people just like you and me is why we're here--or so I think. Some people may disagree, you see. For this is me, and my thoughts in my head. My thoughts in my head do not make a sound to you. Your thoughts in your head are heard by you-and you alone if you do not open your mouth to speak your mind, or type, write, behave in such a way to illustrate your truth. The thing is we have to DO something in order to be heard, understood, loved, helped, changed. Maybe the reason why we exist is to make the most of the time we're given by doing-filling up the empty space of the unknown. The magical thing about life is, whatever it is you want to DO, it's completely up to you what you choose to DO-what action to take-no matter how big or small-you just gotta DO, something-anything. Hopefully that something you choose to do will not hurt anyone, and maybe it could help someone? You? Me? Them, us, those who have yet to be born...you get the picture. These thoughts fill my head, and make me quiet on the outside. I've got all this noise in my mind, inside and I don't know what to do with it, so I just think about this stuff constantly. In the moments in between driving my S.O. to the corner store. During the time it takes for the kettle to call tea time. In the spaces between falling asleep and watching Netflix in my S.O.'s arms. My S.O. asks me if I'm okay and says I haven't seemed myself since we reunited in Washington state after a month's time apart. Maybe I'm just not used to the stillness...maybe I just don't know how to fill the spaces between the routine. Just like the tall, bright-eyed middle-aged blonde-tall nonfat latte drinking woman said "..you reach an age and suddenly you realize you live for the routine." Maybe it's the fact that we know what's next, what's coming, what to expect with routines. Some people may love basking in the glory of empty space, while others, like myself-find myself drowning in existentialism. School starts back up in 5 days. Going to go write out my new weekly routine.

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