two headache meds later....

i never used to feel like this
always surrounded by love and laughter
these are the walls i paint
they are the walls that line my life
lighting my life so brightly

but these days the sun shines differently
when the phone rings, i dare not run after to answer it
i don't mind if it goes to voicemail
where are you? why don't i care if i'm not there?
maybe these days are the test of the rest of my life.

and you tell me this is the end.
i don't seem to notice you there.
i don't even think you really even care.
why can't i dance alone?
where no one is ever home?

so there. this can't go on any longer.
no one knows that.
i don't know that.
maybe you do. maybe i'm right.
maybe i will run away into the night.

i only hope you chase me.
i want you to want to find me in the darkness.
will you be my flashing light?
i'm up a creek without a paddle
i have been for all of my life.
21 years.