who are you now?

sometimes i think i try too hard
sometimes i think i don't try at all
why is it so hard to sit still?
why does it feel like i'm lost and need to be found?
i don't understand myself
just when i think i really know who i am
i look in the mirror and see the reflection
uncertainty, remorse, want, need paint my face
i'm scattered, i don't care
i don't pay attention, i feel like
i'm just sitting on the shelf
just waiting to be noticed i grow bored
distractions never last
egos inflate and sink the last drop of fun
when all is left is a setting sun
i'm done. i give up. i'm ready to run.
who are you now it's all out there?
the blankets dissipated.
there's no where left to hide. no one to keep you distracted.
where is your heart? i can see my pulse through my eyes.
i am living beneath the shadows of who i think i am,
of who i know i am and who i will become.